What about the Ashes?!

Often after a cremation, people aren’t quite sure what to ‘do’ with the ashes.

For some, it brings great comfort to have their beloved sitting on a shelf in the kitchen keeping an eye on things.

Or placing them on the side of the bed where they always slept – for the reassurance of keeping something of their physical presence.

For other people there’s a desire to ‘lay them to rest’ somewhere, and a sense of wanting the closure that might come with that.

Sometimes scattering/burying ashes takes place privately and discreetly (I spotted a small group recently at a National Trust property as they not-so-subtly sprinkled a container of ashes in a rose garden!), and in other circumstamces, a meaningful ceremony feels appropriate to mark this moment of final physical farewell.

As a celebrant, I can help you create a very personal ‘Interment of Ashes Ceremony’ which can be as long or short as you like, and can take place wherever you choose to inter the ashes of your beloved.

It could be a garden, or a beach, or a family plot in a cemetery. It could involve planting a tree or some bulbs, listening to music or poetry or personal memories – sometimes it even involves bonfires or fireworks, live music, a picnic and toasts with a favourite tipple. Essentially, just like a funeral, it can be crafted to reflect the person at the centre of it in whatever way feels important to those who are remembering them.

Sometimes, where a cremation has been unattended, the ‘Interment of Ashes’ is the moment when family and friends gather to say farewell and then a ceremony can be a useful way of giving some structure to the gathering.

Last week I led a short ceremony in the graveyard of an ancient 16th century church where 4 generations of a family had been buried, and where it felt ‘right’ to return the ashes of a man who’d been christened and married, and sung in the choir at that same beautiful church.

The sun shone down on us, as his son placed the urn of ashes into a hole that had been dug at the family plot, and his grandchildren put flowers beside it – before everyone went to his local pub to toast him!

If you’d like help with planning an interment of ashes ceremony, or just to have a chat about anything ceremony-related, please do get in touch!

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And while we're on the subject, do you know the difference between 'Internment' and 'Interment'?!

The English language contains lots of similar sounding words that people often mis-use ……and in the world of funerals, one of the most common mix-ups is between ‘internment’ and ‘interment’

According to the oxford dictionary:

‘Internment’ is ‘the state of being confined as a prisoner, especially for political or military reasons’

While ‘Interment’ is ‘the burial of a body in a grave or tomb, typically with funeral rites’

….so you can see why you wouldn’t want to get those two confused!

Important Note: There is some legislation around where and how ashes are treated (because large quantities of ashes can be harmful to the environment) One useful product I have come across neutralises the potentially toxic effect on the environment of scattering or burying human or pet remains in the earth. Their website is: www.livingmemorial.co.uk